ONE MOMENT IN ZAMBIA

2011-Visiting Precious' kids she left behind

I am not sure what my heart needs to tell. For if it tells what it knows, I feel I somehow lose the power of it in my soul. A kind of unspoken secret between God and me. If it tells, I have to use words to share what only my heart can feel. If it tells, will the fullness of it sitting in my chest seep out of me, leaving me with something less? 

I don’t know what my heart needs to tell. Does it need to hold onto the moments that are only for me or pour out the brokenness and emotion the world needs more of? I am not sure my heart is ready to verbalize the harshness of Africa again. What it so easily takes while we stand by and watch. 

I just don’t know…I got back from Zambia about a week and a half ago. I couldn’t write anything. I felt like there was a weight on my heart. I couldn’t shake it. Leading the trip meant my heart had to take a back seat. It must be second. Second to schedules, meetings, recording receipts, thinking about the plan for the next day, and making sure everyone else is ok. My heart was  drowning in pain, the tears were being held under, not allowed to come up to the surface. 

My heart ached to just weep at night in Zambia. I longed to sit out and lie in the dark and cry out to God as I wondered about the stars that He holds up in the sky and yet the people he allows to fall here on earth. People like Precious. 

The name came out of her mouth like a knife to my heart. The pain was immediate, the blow so violent I almost went to my knees. Unbeknownst of course, to the sweet girl who uttered the name, her name, innocently in a small house in Chongwe just 2 weeks ago. The name was a fierce reminder of a person, a life, a mother, a widow, that Africa stole. I don’t feel the need to share the whole story of Precious in 2010, for those that were there, it is understood. Her story is the story of many I have encountered. But the seven years between then and now had only given it time to gather power silently in my soul. It is a story that I never want to be normal. Her story of heartache, pain, hopelessness, widowhood, HIV/AIDS, and the future of her 5 children that would be left with nothing after she died. 

I left the house to gather myself, although I didn’t know if I wanted to. I stood outside, knees weak and tears flowing, lips quaking, chest heaving; so taken aback by this uncontrollable response to a name. I wanted to stay in this with God…

But gather myself I did.  Through the heartbreak and emotion, we must get up and with God, continue the work. I always ask God to break my heart for what breaks His and I am thankful that He answers. When the heart is close to the poor, hurting, and lost, it is close to God. 

I am grateful for the opportunity to be broken again and again in Zambia and be able to hand my broken heart to God as He draws it out of the depths to give the pain and tears, life giving purpose and passion. 

“Would you be interested in going with me to Africa?”

If you are like me, your initial response to this question would be…NO. Maybe you would come up with one of a million polite excuses (like I did) about why you cannot. For me it was financial concerns. “We do not have it in our budget,” I said. Some time went by and Kristin asked me again if my daughter Emily and I would like to go to Africa with them. That is when I made a tactical error in mission avoidance. I told her I would pray about it. And then, against my better judgement, I actually did pray about it. Much to my surprise, God answered that prayer by putting a desire in my heart to go to Africa. I was genuinely excited about the opportunity to see the Lord prove His faithfulness to us. We certainly did not have the budget to go to Africa, but we knew this was not a problem for our God. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills; coming up with the funds to send us to Zambia was no big deal for Him. And he did! He proved Himself faithful.

This became the theme of our trip to Zambia. The Lord is faithful. One of the things I love about International Teams is how they look to see what God is doing in a location and try to join Him in that work. It is tempting to approach missions like we have the answers to the problems of the world. That is an arrogance that our friends in other parts of the world may recognize quicker than we do. The reality is that Jesus is the answer, and He is already working in these locations. So, the approach we took in Africa was to look for what God is doing, look to see what resources are already in place, look to see what God’s people are accomplishing – and join into the work.

Another aspect of the ministry of International Teams (especially Kristin even though she will hate to see her name here!) is seeking out the invisible. It is intentionally looking for the individuals or groups who are overlooked by the people and systems of society. On this trip, that was demonstrated in two ways. First, Kristin has a heart for the young ladies (in too many cases young girls) who are caught in the world of prostitution. She actively seeks these girls out and prays for them, seeking to build relationship with them and teach them of the love of God in a way that lets them see their value and dignity as His image bearers. 

The second way we sought out the invisible was with the men of an especially poverty-stricken area. We discovered that there have been many programs and not-for-profit organizations who have targeted the women and children of this area, but no one has sought to come alongside the men to give them a hand up. There are many obstacles for men to overcome in this place – unemployment, hopelessness, drunkenness, apathy, etc. The goal is to come alongside them and let them know there is hope in Jesus. Through Christ these obstacles can be overcome. In meeting with them we discovered that they have a great desire to see their community transformed, but do not feel they have the skills to make that happen. They talked about the need for skills training and individual discipleship. This is an idea that can develop into a working solution!

A trip like this truly changes a person. Emily and I are not the same as we were before. But, the faith muscles we exercised in the past few months leading up to the trip and while in Zambia will atrophy if we do not continue the work here in our own community. The challenge now is to look and see what is God doing in our own hometown? Who are the invisible people that are being overlooked? Emily and I have been discussing these questions since we arrived back in the US. I encourage you to discuss them in your communities as well. Let us join together in the work of God by seeking out the invisible and coming alongside them!

Written by: David Hollingshead

ON THE MOVE

I was pondering my shoes the other day after a walk. They are looking worn, and quite dirty. I thought about when I bought them, where they have been, what they have experienced, and the fact that they have traversed many parts of Zambia. 

These shoes. These shoes that were bought on sale at REI before my first trip to Zambia in 2008. I thought to myself at the time, that I hoped to have occasions to wear them besides on this one trip to Africa. Little did I know they would find themselves on my feet in Africa for the next 9 years. These shoes have climbed up on top of walls to place brick for orphan homes. They have walked alongside women and girls, listening to their stories and hearing their hurts. These shoes have marched into the darkness of the night and onto the streets where girls and women are exploited.  They have shuffled through the red dirt of Zambia and plowed through the African bush. Shoes to help me move and stay in motion. 

Motion. If we don’t ever get up and get going we will never go out from where we are. We have to move to get near other people. To be in relationship with those God is calling us to. An anonymous quote says it all, “We cannot expect the Lord to guide our footsteps if we’re not willing to move our feet.” 

As our Lord did in his last days, we must not shy away from walking down the road to Jerusalem. Jesus was aware of the road that lay before Him. He was not deterred. He kept moving toward it. His feet kept walking. I wonder if Jesus ever thought about the comfy KEEN shoes he could have had if He had come to earth a tad later! But regardless, He did not wait for the Father to pick Him up and move Him supernaturally to Jerusalem, He was always on His way there, on mission. John Piper states this from a sermon in 2002, “When Jesus says, ‘Follow me,’ and says it in the context of going to Jerusalem and having just been rejected in Samaria for going to Jerusalem, he is clearly saying two things, not just one thing. He is saying: ‘Follow ME.’ And he is saying ‘FOLLOW me.’ There is me, and there is my mission. There is a person, and there is a path. There is a sweetness, and there is suffering. There is Jesus, and there is Jerusalem.” 

To follow means we have to move. God is on the move, will you get your shoes on and set out on the path regardless of how tough it may be?

HEALING RAIN. LIVING WATER. BOREHOLE WELLS.

It is that sound on the roof, you know it, the pitter patter of the first drops and then the deafening roar of rain pouring from the sky. The sound drew me to go out on the porch and watch it soak the ground, bringing life to the hardened soil. In Zambia this year God has answered their prayers, quite overabundantly I might add, for rain. The past 20 years have been less than adequate but this year it has almost been too much. 

I love being in Zambia during the rains. But this year, it was not just healing rain for the ground but for my soul. It was an overabundance of love, support and encouragement pouring from dear people, our partners in Zambia. 

The theme of water on this trip was quite easy to spot. The miraculous way in which we got the bore hole wells set up, sited, dug and the hand pumps put in, was truly exciting. Really, you have no idea! These wells will now give life giving, clean water to the community of Chibolya! See the rains could only provide water that was in reality, still dirty when collected in their hand dug wells. Going deep into the clean underground water table is what it took to give water that makes a difference. And it is the same concept with the true Living Water, Jesus. You can try to dig your own well, try to get to clean water on your own, or go to the source, the life giving water that Jesus talks about in John 4. It’s Jesus that makes a difference. 

It was so humbling to give life giving water to the community of Chibolya and be able to share about the true Living Water to this community (and give out New Testaments!). A community God has picked out of all Zambia so we can join Him and pour our lives into. I prayed as I left on this trip that I would be, “poured out as a drink offering, an empty vessel for Him.” God is so amazing that as I prayed that prayer He was already planning on filling me back up in the home of and through the care of our partners. Healing rain. Living Water. Borehole Wells. 

Healing Rain

The Dance

A shadow heart in the rocky dirt of Chongwe

Today is February 14th. A day of love. I have been thinking about what this day means as I sat with a dear sister in Christ earlier who is not married or in a relationship but love still abounds in her life. I set off on a walk after she left and thought about love. About earthly love, puppy love, romantic love and then I thought about who is the true love of my life. I put on my music and thanked Jesus for being the lover of my soul. 

Now, I do love my husband and our marriage. All that God has brought us through and to. I love that I get to experience marriage in this world and all it entails and represents. What I love most about my husband though, is that he loves me less. Less than Jesus. Now, don’t get all bent out of shape and send emails stating that I am a humbug about Valentine’s Day. I am all for it, but there is a everlasting love that goes beyond this world. Ben and I won’t be married in heaven (at least according to most biblical scholars on those verses). We will be to each other, brothers and sisters in Christ. What freedom that should bring to us here. It is all about Jesus. It takes the pressure off of the expectations we have about love in this life. It frees us to fully enjoy earthly love without depending on it outside of Christ. What Christ did for me on the cross by shedding His blood to be the atoning sacrifice for my sin that had to be paid so I could be made right before a holy God is the most overwhelming act of love I could ever experience. Jesus wants to love the socks off of you in ways earthly love can not touch, even marital love. It is so profound and so deep. It is the most intimate relationship you can have. And while I love being in the arms of my husband, being in the arms of Jesus is that much sweeter. It is in this truth that Ben and I will stand side by side with our hands outstretched to the One who loves us more than either of us can love each other and turn our gaze to something greater than both of us which is the kingdom work that is laid at our feet. And it is with those same feet that we follow the lead of our Lord and Savior in a dance that will continue on into  eternity. And as I walked on in my thoughts on this sunny day, this song came on…We Dance. 

We Dance (Official Lyric Video) - Steffany Frizzell Gretzinger & Bethel Music - You Make Me Brave

MY WORD FOR THE YEAR-FOCUS

With a whole year ahead of you it can seem as if the horizon is quite vast. It can look either exciting or overwhelming depending on your point of view, but regardless, there is much to take in. Those little squares on your calendar long to be filled in, days begin and end and the future desires to be defined in the here and now. Trying to take it all in is almost too much. 

So, here I am in the year 2017, embracing the holy unknowing, the mystery and what lies ahead. As I was thinking about a word God wanted me to hold onto this year, I was also in the middle of finishing a Bible Study and writing a review for it on Amazon. It came to me as I was writing, the Bible Study was the prep for what God wanted me to know about this year. The review for, “HIs Last Words: What Jesus taught and prayed in His final hours,” was the trigger for what is important in this New Year. I was sharing in the review that the study was, “…not only in title, but in content, about Him. All about our Lord and Savior. The focus is on Him.” Well, there you go. That is what this year is going to be about. IT IS ALL ABOUT GOD. 

The word FOCUS then is the way in which I will do this. To FOCUS is to pinpoint what you want to see clearly. You then, by no other choice, let what is in the periphery fade. God is who I will keep my eyes focused on. I will let all that is trying to pull me away, or detour me, or distract me, fade to fuzzy. 

What is it that you are focusing on going into this New Year? Is it on something or someone other than God? FOCUS. What if Moses, Nehemiah or Paul would have lost FOCUS? Regardless of time, hardship, years of struggle, naysayers, battles, discouragement, beatings, hunger, attack or trials, they held their gaze on the One who is worthy, despite what it meant for them in this world. 

The world is full of stuff that fills the periphery. Don't let any of it pull your FOCUS off God. It takes work to stay focused on something. So we need to be ready, we need a plan and we need to be diligent in keeping our eyes on Him. You will get tired, your eyes will hurt and you will want to look at something else at some exhausted point, but don’t. He is all that we need. The vast horizon of the New Year is upon us, let us narrow our view to what is important, let us not look to and fro but fix our eyes on Jesus. And not surprisingly, that becomes all the clarity we need. 

Psalm 16:8, “I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.”

LIGHT-MY WORD FOR THE SEASON

The sunrise seeps through the trees oozing into the darkness of the pre-dawn sky. I sit and watch this almost every morning as the light invades the night. It is always amazing. There is something so divine about the sunrise, about light, about how it illuminates the darkness impartially. It can’t not shine it’s light into every corner or crevice. It overcomes darkness. 

And so it is with Jesus who is the Light of the world. He has come to overcome all darkness. John 8:12 says, “When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.’” He is the Light! When we know Him as the Life and therefore the Light, we will never walk in darkness. We walk in abundant life and never ending light. Light that illuminates all sin, all darkness and evil. We see clearly! We have no fear in the Light. We can walk in the world because we are in the Light. Friends, we need to make sure we are in the Light as 1 John 1:6 states, “If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in darkness we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son purifies us from all sin.” 

What a glorious truth that Jesus would come to be the Light of the World and allow us to enter into this light and life through His blood that He freely gave! He came from heaven to be born of a woman and walked this earth, died and was resurrected! Knowing Him, we are therefore also lights unto this world, a “city on a hill” that we might “shine our light before men (Matt. 5:14-16). 

My prayer is that I can be that light, that beacon of hope to those around me. And that THE LIGHT will overflow from me as I walk in the path God puts before me everyday as the dawn overtakes the dark and the day begins. As I walk here in Wisconsin or in Zambia or anywhere in between, I walk into the world knowing I have the Light that overcomes. Let us boldly be that light, life and love to those around us and overtake the darkness with the Name above all Names, the Light of the World, Jesus. 

May you experience the Light of the World this Christmas season! May He illuminate your need for Him and may you bend your knee to a Savior born to the world, a baby in a manger. 

Many Blessings to you all! Merry Christmas!