The Heart

In the middle of it, it came to me, that still small voice. In that place during worship where there is no one else; when you are empty enough to hear, quiet enough to listen, and selfless enough to accept. What came to me was the culmination of a summer’s worth of scattered reading, study and music. 

The common theme? The heart. It hit me like a ton of bricks! There was the album cover and title of the music I was drenched in, the focus of the book I was reading, and the clear message in red letters from my Bible reading. I had no intentions of doing an in-depth study on the heart but my Father in heaven providentially guided me. The One who is holding my heart in His hand, and wants to make sure I will leave it there. The Holy Spirit guided my music picks, the random grabbing of a book out of a box in my mom’s garage and the haphazard (embarrassingly enough) picking of Matthew to read and study (Jesus talks a lot about what is on the inside!). All so that I might be reminded of what is going on.   

The warfare over our hearts.  

This should not be new news to us as believers. Yet we live as such. In the book I am reading, there is a powerful quote, “If Jesus said the thief comes to steal and kill and destroy, well, then, why don’t we think the thief every actually comes to steal and kill and destroy? Good grief-the things people just roll over and accept as “God’s will.” The house [speaking of a house the author was trying to buy but lost] was just the move to steal; the Enemy wanted to kill our hearts and destroy our faith and all that flows from it. I think that’s nearly always true. The particular attack is not the issue; he’ll steal anything to kill and destroy” (John Eldredge in Waking the Dead). 

Is it the lack of healing for someone you firmly heard God say would be healed?  A job change that would have allowed for more family time and more money to give away but was yanked at the last minute? Or a desperate situation with a friend who was falsely accused and yet with prayer, justice has yet to be served? 

It is in these things that our hearts can become troubled, weakened or overwhelmed. We can lose heart, lose faith, and that is exactly what the enemy is trying to do. We do not remember the story of Daniel and the vision given to him concerning a great war enough. Daniel prays and fasts for 3 weeks and nothing! Where is God? What is going on? Yet this is the story from the angel… “Since the first day that you set you mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard and I have come in response to them. but the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me twenty one days. Then Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, because I was detained there with the king of Persia” (Daniel 10: 12,13).  This is the reality of what is going on in the spiritual realm. If we for one minute forget we are at war, the ramifications are disastrous. 

Our armor must be on, our hearts steadfast and our minds filled with the Word. We may yet realize that one more night of holding on, one more hour of prayer could be the moment of victory, the moment of the dawn rising to the east, the mountain scaled, the river crossed, the valley walked through.  The moment you might see the God of angel armies battling for your heart and the vast and wondrous story we are a part of for His glory. 

God is holding my heart and I will leave it with Him. I will not take it back. I will not doubt that He will handle it better than I. I continue to give it all to Him. I will not lie down during this battle. I will armor up and stand firm for my family, Zambia and for all that God has called us to. 

Proverbs 4:23-“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

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DITCH, DISTRACTION OR DETOUR?

There are days I wake up and feel like I have accidentally found myself upside down in a hole. What is this? How did I get here? What is going on? The questions abound. But God abounds more. As I have uprighted myself over the past few weeks, I find that there are a few questions that run through my mind. Is this a ditch from the enemy?  A distraction that is pulling our eyes off the clear calling of God? Or a detour in God’s sovereign plan that is part of His clear calling? 

Knowing that the enemy and the kingdom of darkness want nothing less than to keep us from going to a place that means graveyard and is bound by the principality of death and destruction, we understand the battle we are in. But we trust in our God to have filtered all these things through His hand. For even if this is a ditch or distraction from the kingdom of darkness, our God can have all things turn out for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. We are sitting tight in the presence of the Lord as we re-group and wait on Him. 

For this is truly about God’s faithfulness, God’s goodness and His sovereignty despite our circumstances. Let us trust and walk in faith with the God of the universe despite what is seen or not seen, what is hard or not hard, what is known or not known. Great is Thy Faithfulness….this song was given to my heart and since then I have had multiple people say this is the song that they have been prompted to give me. A clear message for all of us, it is all about God. 

SAVORING EASTER

Desiring to still hold onto the weekend we just had (Easter weekend) and wanting to continue to ponder on the cross and the resurrection, I jumped into the passages in John after the stone was rolled away. What beauty in this time right after He arose. 

How amazing that Jesus Christ would show Himself to the world that had just crucified Him and to the few who truly loved Him. These days after Easter when Christ would remove doubt, calm fears, bring peace and show His power again would be the building blocks for the faith His disciples would need after His ascension. And it is also for us today. Jesus states to Thomas that, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen yet have believed” (John 20:29). May we live in that blessing to believe and hope in what is not seen. What a loving God that He would make sure these things are written down for us to know! Just a few verses later John states this very thing, “But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name” (John 20:31). 

Jesus did many other miracles and spoke many things to those He chose to reveal Himself to. He gave those people, and us today, the continued evidence that He was the Son of God the perfect God-man who could atone for our sin and justify us before a holy God and be raised from the dead to defeat death once and for all. And as I could not just stop at the resurrection this morning, I pray we do not stop at even this point in history. Jesus Christ then ascended and is seated at the right hand of God. We need to remember that He is now acting as our King, Intercessor and Lord. His Spirit is here and as He and the Father are one with the Spirit, He is moving and working in this world. But one very important historical point we can not forget is that He is coming back. So many times we relegate Jesus to 1st Century Palestine. We bind Him there in our minds. But He is not there! He is high and lifted up, exalted and worthy of praise! And He will be coming back on a white horse in all His glory. 

May we remember that we serve a King who is seated at the right hand of God. And in that knowledge we can fully lay down our lives to Him and His will for us. As we move away from Easter, let us pursue the surrender of our lives to King Jesus. It is in this posture that we are preparing to go to Zambia. May we all be able to hear the words Jesus gave Peter in John 21:19, “Follow Me”. 

Many blessings to all of you as we rejoice in the wake of the Easter weekend. 

LOVE LIKE THAT

I look outside and a shiver runs down my back. The ice and snow are not budging here in Illinois. That northern wind blows and our windows are frosted but that does not stop any of us from thinking about Valentine’s Day coming up! There is much ado about this day of love. Thoughts of romance, candy, candlelight and words of adoration fill our minds. Though my thoughts of love go deeper than just thinking about romantic love this week.

The shiver is gone and my heart melts though, even in the cold, with the thought of the love our supporters and partners have for not only God but for the precious people of Zambia. This holiday is the perfect opportunity to tell all of you who have prayed, given of your time, money and energy to the people of Zambia how much Ben and I love you all! The love we and you all have for the lost, poor and oppressed people of Zambia is love that will last! Love that walks alongside, touches, hugs, and sits in the dirt. True love is built on sacrifice, as Jesus demonstrated for us. Thank you all for the sacrifices you have made over the years to be a part of this ministry! We are so blessed by your love to us and to those you may have never met half-way across the globe. But there will be a day when we all are rejoicing in heaven over the lives that were saved and thus transformed by your support and partnership of us and this ministry! It is love like that that we celebrate today! Blessings to you all and know you are all prayed over and appreciated! 

This picture represents a small way in which we love. This is Charity. We met on the streets in the back of a bar in 2014. We had prayed with her and talked with her for quite a while. My Zambian friend who was with me happen to see her again in the market last fall. When I went in Dec. we went on a search to find her. After finding out she had moved, we went to search her out. The look on her face when she came out and saw me!  She was overwhelmed that I had come back to find her, that I remembered her. That I wanted to come and put my arms around her. She was not on the streets anymore, and was trying to make a living selling plastic shoes. We sat in her little home and chatted for a while and prayed with her. It was a precious time. You, our supporters, made that moment possible. I am just the extension of your arms of love to girls like Charity. Thank you!

WORD FOR THE YEAR

It is here that I need to back up and say, I did not get to write about my word for the Christmas season this past year. The season got away from me (A trip to Zambia will do that!) and even though I did feel the word, reveal or revelation was my word from God, I did not actually write about it (sad face). I feel it was in that word though, that God did reveal and well, ripped back open, past scars that needed to be felt again in a way to bring a fresh brokenness to my life, my marriage and ministry.

In our training with International Teams we have had to read a few good books and do some deep reflecting and searching in the reading and thus the writing on these books. In this, I have felt God asking me to go back, get a little more vulnerable than I have been and push into deeper self-examination. Through this I discovered I had been forgetting I had scars. Scars that have implications, meaning and hurt and pain associated with them. 

I am not saying here that we should go back and live in our pasts or re-visit them in an unhealthy way, but there was a point for me that I knew I was not living in the reality of the presence of my past in a way that brought the beautiful reality of it’s existence. There is a story in it. The story that we overcame. Victory is ours. 

In the training and through my word for the Christmas season God has brought us to a new place as we prepared for the new year. In the wrestling of why I needed to go back, why I needed to unearth the dark soil, God revealed it was to use it to plant new growth in my life. So grateful for God’s gift of words to me and the promptings that come out of that. As the week leading up to New Year’s Eve unfolded, Ben and I got dirty in the soil of our past to see the way in which God is growing new awareness and a certainty in what He has and is doing. 

The word, VICTORY, came out of all of this as we sat on New Year’s Eve writing out our recommitments to each other, God and our calling, after sitting in the dirt the week before. Victory rather than any other word, because it invokes the idea of battle, scars, tough decisions and fighting. It speaks of following and leading, protecting and yet total abandonment. It is also a reminder that we fight not against flesh and blood, but against powers and principalities. And it is in the Word of God that we stand firm and win. The Word, not the little words God gives me but The Word that brings total victory and freedom to a life that God is growing His will in. His will planted in the dark soil of unearthed brokenness. 

“When you go to war against your enemies and see horses and chariots and an army greater than yours, do not be afraid of them, because the LORD your God, who brought you up out of Egypt, will be with you.  When you are about to go into battle, the priest shall come forward and address the army. He shall say: "Hear, O Israel, today you are going into battle against your enemies. Do not be fainthearted or afraid; do not be terrified or give way to panic before them. For the LORD your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.”  Deuteronomy 20:1-4 

Love this verse. How good it is to be in the “camp” of the Lord. To be in His will. Then we can have the assurance of His victory! Moving into 2016 today standing firm, ready to fight and accepting the victory God has given as we embark on moving to Zambia to join God in the battle there. 

WAITING FOR THE RAINS

The people of Zambia wait for the rains to begin every year in December. I am usually not in Zambia during this time of expectation but I feel God wanted to show me something, because I was also there with expectation and hope. Expectation of answered prayer and hope for the heavens to open. And open they did. In many ways, like the rain that eventually came to cool the blazing heat and sun, I saw God open heaven and rain down blessing on many encounters and conversations with the broken in Chibolya. Like those who have been praying for the life giving rain to plant and be able to harvest, I saw God answer my prayers to pave a way into Chibolya, soften hardened hearts, and reveal the ones God was calling to Himself. 

After prayer walking around Chibolya with some local friends on the ground, we entered into Chibolya with God and saw Him do some amazing things. The first day we saw 2 sisters come to Christ and had the opportunity to pray for healing and blessing over many others! The next day God led us to two women who needed to be delivered from demonic oppression. God guided our every step and we were so grateful for the Holy Spirit’s promptings to stop and talk to random people as we walked through this area that means graveyard. We saw the hearts and looked into the eyes of many hopeless men and soaked in the smiles of children that do not know yet the life that awaits them. We hugged many women who needed to know that God created them and that they were beautiful in His eyes and in ours and we encouraged a pastor and his wife in prayer to continue to preserver in their ministry at their little church (their church was not in Chibolya but they lived there). In the many different times that we went into Chibolya, we saw another man come to Christ and got to encourage another man who’s heart was so distraught over his life. He wanted to talk more about Jesus and my Zambian friend on the ground committed to meeting with him again. Our Zambian friends were also connecting the other women who came to Christ with a pastor’s wife and checking in on the freed women as well.  

We also went out on the streets on Friday and Saturday night. This is always hard but after much prayer, we got to see one young girl re-dedicate her life and then brought us her cousin who was also prostituting and she gave her life to her Savior and Lord! It was a beautiful thing to see the one girl who had re-dedicated her life pray with us over her cousin! I don’t even have the space to share all the conversations with the men who were at these bars, but let me say that there was one guy who actually helped us by bringing us girls to talk to and revealed that the stories of very young girls (12-14 year olds) at these bars in rooms somewhere was a reality that did not surprise us, unfortunately. We saw many underage girls about and one night we saw an underage girl screaming as she was being dragged and shoved into a car with 4 men. I will only share that she got away and It reminds me that this is a fight, a battle of light and darkness, good and evil. One in which we have God on our side. 

Though we had many God moments there was the obvious dark veil that hung over this place. Prostitutes that scattered and could not look us in the eye at our entering, and men who were bound to alcohol. Most men were drunk by 9 in the morning. The high rate of suicide in the most obvious demographic, young men, was something that we prayed against and saddened our hearts and the numbers we were hearing of HIV/AIDS was almost unbelievable. 

There is so much more to tell, and so many more stories but there is not enough room. We know this call is not going to be easy but God showed me that the heavens have opened not only for the rain in Zambia, but for us to minister to those in Chibolya. We are grateful for the opportunity to be God’s servants to those in Zambia. 

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving!

James 2:5 (ESV)

"Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him?"

It is overcast here in our little town near the Windy City and things are still very quiet in our house. I am sitting here in my modest, comfortable home, warm, dry, fed and drinking my Irish Breakfast Tea. Before things get really busy, I wanted to take some time to ponder today, Thanksgiving. 

There are many in the world this morning who have found themselves without shelter, without anything to fill their stomachs and their babies crying with hunger pangs. Many of these have been recently displaced from their homes, looking for asylum, searching for anyone who will offer them solace from the remarkable evil of their homeland. I'm grateful for what I have (which by US standards is nothing) which is what today is all about however, I can't help but think of those who are much less fortunate. Those who are thankful today anyway, in spite of their poverty, in spite of the evil that has destroyed their homes.

I can't help but think of those who I have met in Zambia, those who live in a little one room shanty house who continually speak about how good our God is. Those who do not know where their next meal will come from but are thankful that God has helped them thus far. I'm thankful to have met these people, I'm thankful that God has given me the opportunity to see with my own eyes the things that break His heart. I'm thankful that He has called me and my family to minister to these people and spread the love that He so freely shares to anyone who will accept Him. 

Time is short and I'm thankful for today. I'm thankful for all of you, my friends, my family and most of all my God who is the provider of all that we have and all that we don't. So today, as you are gathering with family and friends, giving thanks for all that God has blessed you with, please remember those who aren't going to be feasting today and offer a prayer of hope, a prayer of compassion to those who literally have nothing. 

Happy Thanksgiving all!