INADEQUATE

A cross that sits at the shore of Green Lake

Green Lake, Wisconsin, a quiet, scenic lake surrounded by rolling hills, fir trees and typical Wisconsin landscape. Misty mornings, soulful sunsets and wildlife quieted the minds, hearts and bodies of those of us there. The peacefulness was something you could grab onto, breath deep into. This was the place were workers from all over the world, from every corner, came together to talk about anything but issues that were peaceful, quiet or beautiful. It was a conference on prostitution and sex trafficking. The surroundings were safe and comforting to many tired and burnt out front line workers who came for 5 days of worship, encouragement, prayer and rest.
I attended this conference to gain any little bit of knowledge in this area of ministry as I delve into this world on a deeper level every year I am in Zambia. With the work we intend to do when we move full-time, I am looking for any support in this world of darkness and despair.
What I found was this-HOPE. But not in the form of a plan, a book or a manual.  See, part of me went with a small expectation that upon arrival, I would receive a book, manual or some sort of instruction as to how to "do" this kind of ministry. By the end of the second day, I realized, like the lack of hot water streaming from my shower, it was not going to come my way. This was, for a moment, disappointing. This slight disappointment was quickly replaced by the realized encouragement that I, like everyone else there, did not have all the answers, hadn't a clue as to what the end of the tunnel looks like and was flying by the seat of their pants on shoe string budgets wondering how the heck they ended up in this kind of ministry. That was one of the most consistent themes throughout the conference-the feeling of inadequacy in the ability to do this work. A powerful place to be....for when we are weak, He is strong. From the speakers who stood on stage to the one on one conversations with simple people from all over the world, the message was clear. We were all just servants following the calling of God on our lives to jump into this work regardless of our education, our wealth, our feelings of worthiness or our training. I suddenly felt among friends. Those who argued with God because they were "just" a mom of 3 kids, or "just" an engineer, or "just" a secretary, or "just" a pastor's wife. Those who were willing to be broken by the things that break the heart of God and surrender to Him their lives not knowing where it would lead. The exhale was palpable.
The HOPE was this-that this work is done only in the power of the Holy Spirit through individuals who have emptied themselves of any pride or self dependence. Every country, city, demographic, and girl is a different battle, a different plan. That God will pave the road before you, that you will make mistakes as one speaker shared but that God will still redeem even when we get it wrong. For this is His work and He is in control and is mighty to save. He is already there-in the dark, waiting for us to join Him in defeating the enemy through prayer and in the powerful name of Jesus.
For God does not call the equipped, He equips the called. Feeling inadequate? Don't have a plan? Can't understand why God wants to use you? Lay it all down. The plan will come when we surrender everything to Him.
1 Corinthians 1:26-31-"Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things-and the things that are not-to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God.-that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: let him who boasts boast in the Lord."

Dance

When 2014 was coming upon me I had no idea what it would hold. I am no stranger to trials, struggles and challenges but so far, this year will rank up in the top 5 of tough ones and it's not even half over! I was asking God to do whatever it takes to keep me close to Him. As always, He answers. I have been on my face a lot this year but it is a sweet, sweet place to be. God is a fresh spring in the middle of a desert, a warm beam of sunshine in the depths of a dark, dank hole. He is truth in the midst of a cacophony of lies, He is the focal point of my soul, my mind, my eyes, my heart. He is the one who asks me to dance in the middle of heartache. Yes, I will dance. I will dance for a God who knows the future, who holds my present, and has redeemed my past. I will dance for One who is worthy of my praise regardless of the darkness that tries to engulf me.
Then, I think, I think of the women in Zambia who dance in the midst of their own debilitating circumstances-abject poverty, rape, physical abuse and hunger. That picture of them gives me strength to continue with tears streaming down my face as I lift my eyes to Heaven and thank Him for asking me to get up off my knees and dance....

Psalms 149:3-"Let them praise his name with dancing and make music to him with tambourine and harp."

Today is mine and my husband’s 20 year wedding anniversary! I have been thinking today about how we started, and where God has brought us. Always candid about how Ben and I have, “made it this far”. I think about what plans have gone by the wayside and what plans God has brought to replace those. Plans that we could have never, I mean never, in a million years conjured up in our minds, a plan like moving to Zambia to minister to vulnerable women and men there. I like this saying about marriage that says-marriage is so we can do ministry better together than we ever could have alone. That does not happen overnight though!

There have been many dark places that we have walked but God brought us out into the light through His never ending love. His desire to not leave us how He found us but make us more like Him is amazing. See, He loves us too much to let us stay stagnate.  The time when God led both of us to His surgery table was one of the darkest moments for us. It was such a tough time but we knew God was removing, cutting out and sewing up all the cancerous, tumorous and open wounds that needed His touch. We stayed there and allowed God to finish surgery and lay still while He healed us. 

Whether you like the analogy of a surgeon, or a carpenter with a hammer and chisel chipping away all the excess that is not needed in order to reveal the true masterpiece, I beg of you this-Give Him permission to either grasp His loving scalpel or hold His hammer and chisel so He can began that wonderful process. Bruce Wilkinson has a great quote that goes something like this, “The bigger the vision God gives you, the bigger the cleansing that you will go through to be prepared for it.” I am giving Him permission to get out that scalpel again and continue the process of making me all He wants me to be for His glory and His honor.  

Philippians 1:6-“being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Ben and I in Zambia together for the first time in 2012! 

This Little Piggy Goes to Market.....

February was a busy month and the beginning of March as well!  We had business training for 15 former sex workers who desire to get off the street and live in the new life they see for themselves earlier in February. We also got the piggery training set up and that happened last week! Wow! Now, I know this does not seem like a huge accomplishment but working on these kind of things from across the ocean when Internet access is sketchy, funds have to be wired, and all scheduling and timing has to work between us and our partner on the ground, CHD,  is quite a feat! This takes much time during meetings, endless emails back and forth (when there is Internet service) and A LOT of prayer as we are fighting against much spiritual attack to bring these things to fruition. We have been trying to get these two things going since the fall after we returned from our trip last summer and it has been a challenge! No one sees all the behind the scenes work that goes into something that seems so simple. BUT we know we fight not against flesh and blood, but against powers and principalities....See, through all these things, God's love is being shown.

At the business training, all 15 women came to know Christ! This is an amazing and humbling outcome to this gathering of women who want to be freed from the bondage and darkness of the streets! Please pray for them as they are now working on business plans and seeking out micro-loans. They are very vulnerable and need our prayer over them. 

We are also looking forward to the outcome of the piggery training and how God will show up in this as He works in the lives of those who need to know they are loved. Thanks to CHD and Felix who went out to Mumbwa ahead of time to get all this figured out! That was an adventure by itself! We are very grateful though, to God who postponed us buying pigs last summer! It was frustrating at the time as we did not fully understand  but to then find out in October that Swine fever was sweeping through Zambia and pigs were being euthanized...well, all we can say, is God's timing is perfect! Now that they women are trained we can buy pigs after this long lesson in patience and faith in God. 

In all of this, God is stretching my husband and I and our family as we move forward in this journey to be a light in the darkness. It is not easy work, but we accept our calling in this as we know that this world is not our home and God is our enoughness, our everything. Please pray for us as we continue to journey on in this crazy life as we now work on getting our personal funding together to move to Zambia full time next year. It is going to go fast!

The vet from the Ag office 

Some of the women of the co-op learning from the vet

One of the CHD workers training the former sex workers

Susan, a good friend of CHD, encouraging the former sex workers in the Word of God

A Covering

I woke up New Years morning to the outside world freshly coated in new whiteness. The light outside was soft and the sound of the falling snow silent. The layers of snow creating a blank slate for the year it was announcing, this year of 2014. I have been conscience about going into this New Year with open hands and an open heart.

This fresh start, this first page of the rest of the year has to be offered to God deliberately, laid down at His feet. I pray my life is a blank slate for God to write on. For His story to be told through whatever struggles and challenges may come my way. That God's story is my story. I ask that the intertwining of my open heart and His all encompassing will, will come together to be the story of a lifetime, well, my lifetime at least!  Understanding that this written masterpiece might only be a masterpiece when it is read in eternity.

If you need to, write out on boxes or mason jars with chalkboard fronts all the activities, jobs, positions, and "things" that take up your time and put them all on a shelf in your house. You may also want to put an empty one on a shelf that may represent something you don't know about yet.  It could be a  person that needs mentoring, a volunteer position God wants you to take, or a job you are to quit, maybe a day in the week that needs to stay empty so you can fill up with God. Then pray over all these and do not take them off the shelf unless God says so. The hardest part, be willing to take action and follow through on what God is asking you to do, or not do. This might have to be done without understanding or knowing why, only trusting in the one who is the author and perfector of our faith.

Let us not haphazardly go through this year. Let us walk the path God has set out before us and not be forging trails that will lead nowhere. May we not confuse what might be good but not of God.

"The New Year lies before you like a spotless tract of snow. Be careful how you tread on it, for every mark will show..." -author unknown.

                                   Blessings and Happy New Year from Extending Hands!

My Word for the Season

Renew. We either long for it or are experiencing it. The process of renewal must seep deep into our souls to reach those places that are dark and dry. We seek being renewed in many different ways. It is the longing we have when we feel we need to take a break or unwind.  Then, we usually fill that need with going shopping, getting our nails done, eating, watching TV, going to get coffee, having to go out for a drink or a plethora  of other "activities" that are supposed to make us somehow look and feel refreshed. These things do not last though.

This Christmas Season I want to think about being renewed in a way that fills me up for more than one hour, or one day, or one week. Many of you who know me, know that over the past few years I have asked God to give me a word for the Christmas Season, a word that God wants me to claim, a word He wants me to experience. Renew is that word this year. I feel God is calling me to be made new this December. To be re-created, re-vamped, re-purposed. RENEWED in Christ.

I have found that for me, it is starting with allowing God deep within my heart. To challenge me to sweep out the clutter, and any spiderwebs that are catching sinful thoughts or unworthy musings. I am laying bare my soul to be filled with God and what He wants me to work on, what He wants me to know. I think of the verse in Psalm 51 which states, "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and RENEW a steadfast spirit within me." This is in response to Davids sin with Bathsheba. In that spirit of repentance, we are renewed, because of our humility to confess sin to an all knowing God.

With nothing in the way, we can be made new again; raising our hands to a God who knows us, loves us, and desires us to be all that He wants us to be. When our hope is in Him and not in the things of this world we are free to experience His power in our lives to be made new everyday! Isaiah 40:31-"but those who hope in the Lord will RENEW their strength. They will soar on wings of eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."  I pray this prayer for the women in Zambia. That whether or not they are old, faithful believers, or baby new Christians, they would experience renewal in dry places, hope in the darkness, and a heart that will carry on. I pray they experience a  re-newed faith, a re-purposed life, and a re-freshed spirit of  awe and reverence for the God who made them.

I want to be RENEWED this Season to see Jesus for not only the baby in a manger but for the awesome, holy, righteous, omniscient, powerful, loving, omnipresent, never changing, truthful, compassionate One, who is King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

May God RENEW your heart to experience Him  and see Him in fresh and powerful ways. That He and He alone would be enough to fill us up. That our hands and our hearts would be lifted to our Savior who sits at the right hand of God as if we have never raised them before. Let it all be new this Christmas!

All of us at Extending Hands wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a  Happy New Year!

To give to Extending Hands this Christmas Season go to www.extendinghands.org/pages/projects

Blessings! 

What lingers....

"Wanting is the first page of a new journal. Desiring words that will become memories, traditions, new callings and the persistence of old promises. Words that form sentences, sentences  that form feeling and paragraphs that become the overflow of the heart poured out on these pages. Written in secret, the pages of a journal are the escaped musings and deep thoughts that fought to be freed from the soul only to find themselves captive on paper." --This is my first page of a new journal I started a couple of months ago. As I was re-reading that page today, I thought about beginnings and endings, starting and finishing. New things and old things. Things that once were and now are not. Things that linger; like words in a journal.
What will linger behind me? What fragrance will be left of my life? These are sobering questions I have to ask myself a lot. I am continually challenged by God to review all I do in light of eternity. In light of what will be left behind. I don't want tons of degrees or pieces of paper on my walls, or titles after my name in my obituary, these are not important to me. I do want one thing to be evident, that I loved the Lord, my God with all my heart and all my soul and with all my mind. This is the struggle of my life. I always wonder how is the next word out of my mouth or thought in my head, going to further the Kingdom. I have to say, I feel like I fail at this all the time. I wrestle with decisions about how to spend my time, what impact certain things will have on my children and what am I doing to move my marriage forward. I am consistently taking a deep breath with God, trusting Him in the choice I just made regarding some kind of consequence for one of my kids or a decision regarding a project in Zambia. None more important than the other.
This past summer, we made the decision to help renovate a widows home in Lusaka. Her name was Grace. We teetered many times about the decision because of thinking we might not have the money or time to accomplish this project. It was one of those deep breaths with God. A, "OK, lets just do it!" decision. My husband and son had spent a whole day before the team came in getting things kinda ready. The door ordered, the roofing found and paid for, the guy to measure the door picked up and brought to the widows home to measure, then brought back, etc. Then the guys on the team came in and pulled off a leaky roof, replaced the rotten beams, put on a new roof, re-measured and fixed the already measured door and put that in and also had the chance to include a couple Zambians from the area to help and feel productive! Grace was given the new keys to her new door and that was that.
A couple weeks ago, I was sitting in a leadership conference, trying to learn how to be a better leader (tough stuff!), and I got a FB message from Majory in Zambia. Grace had died that morning. I was quite stunned at first and just needed to process. I felt like I needed to give Grace a moment of remembrance in the midst of the thousands of people at this conference, none of which knew her or cared about her house or were sad that she had just died.  I sat by myself outside (freezing!) for a little bit and realized we almost didn't do that project. We could have missed out on being Jesus to her, even if she only had her house leak free and safe for a few months. We never know what tomorrow is going to bring. Let us not miss opportunities to do something eternal and leave a lasting fragrance in someones life.  BUT let the fragrance be of Jesus and not of ourselves. Let it be that we were nothing, and HE was everything. Let it linger that God was the most important thing in my life....my desire and my everyday struggle....is it yours?